This life is but merely a spec of your
limitless everlasting life. Yet this spec of time and the manner in which I spend this spec
dictates my Afterlife and herein lies the dilemma of life.
How do I make it meaningful? When survival on its own is so harsh! Don’t
get me wrong though - I am by all means the most privileged (SubahaAllah!!)
person. My dreams became a reality, a dream that I only ever imagined to be
just that: “A DREAM” actually happened!
I have a brilliant career and I work for a company that I only ever
dreamt of working at. I am married to a wonderful handsome man. (this Allah
through His infinite mercy blessed me with! I didn’t make this dua. My dua was
for a wonderful understanding partner.. so good looks is my bonus!
Alhamdullilah)
I have been blessed with so much to be thankful for and I am thankful, but
this great life is such a deterrence from what is truly important, the little
things in life. The time to message my loved ones or the time just to be in
touch. My life is a race towards a finish line and I wonder how long before I
get there.
I wonder if I will have enough time to remember my Creator, love my
Creator and the Nabi (SAW) like nothing else matters.
I wonder when will we be blessed with children and how will I manage
juggling raising a child and having a great career.
When will I truly rise to my glory in my career and when will I make a
true human change in anyone’s lives.
I wonder if I will ever spend enough time with my parents and I pray
that I have more time with them, my longing for them and my family home still
tugging at me. A home which I left almost two years now, yet I long to sleep in
my bed again, to stand in our dining room and look out the window at the Drakensberg
Mountain, to listen to my dad and mum recite Quraan out aloud after Fajr,
trying so hard to recite with the tajweed that they know. How I miss Monday to
Friday lunch hour, sitting at the lunch table and chatting away with my family
about my exciting Court days.
I am a typical human being who longed for the dream and when the dream
arrived, I am struggling to grasp it and make the most of it. I will not fail
though, I will persevere and be all that I want to be..somehow..because Allah
(SWT) would never have blessed me with this dream if I could not manage it.
This is my story of perseverance as I try so hard to grasp this spec and
make it count for the afterlife InshaAllah! Ameen!
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